There are a lot of songs that I love and that mean something to me but none have meant more to me in this year of emotional turmoil than Rich Mullins’s If I Stand. The chorus says: If I stand let me stand on the promise that You will always see me through. If I can’t let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You. If I sing let me sing for the joy that has borne in me these songs. If I weep let it be as a man who is longing for his home.
It has been said that no man is an island. This is certainly true. I couldn’t have made it through this year without the help of so many friends and relatives. How do you ever thank people enough? You can’t. You hear the word “tumor” and your mind automatically says “cancer” and you have to remind yourself of the word “benign”. Most people don’t understand when you say,”If it’s my time, I’m ready.” You don’t want to die. You have a spouse that wouldn’t know how to function without you because you’ve been each other’s other half for so long. You have parents, siblings and extended family that would have a huge hole in their hearts where you belong. So, you hear the word “tumor” and you know the song is right. If you stand it’s by God’s strength, not yours. (Eph. 6:10) If you fall it’s because you’re not perfect and you need God’s grace. (Rom. 5:2) If you sing it’s for the joy, which is deeper than happiness, that lets you know,”If I die, I spend eternity in heaven. If I live, I’m grateful for every day that I get to be with my loved ones.” (Rom. 15:13) If you weep at the loss of a loved one, rejoice for them that they get to go to their final reward and weep as someone who is longing for their home. (I Thes. 4:13-17)
P.S. The doctor said they got 97% of the tumor and they’d never have to perform that surgery again.